I’ve often received phone calls that I thought were dodgy; you know, strangers ringing and offering things.
The phone will ring and I’ll answer. A strange voice will then greet me, and ask to speak to “Terence”
Now that’s a giveaway – no one calls me Terence unless I’m in trouble.
The call I received today was probably legitimate, and the caller’s determination admirable, but it had me regretting I’d picked up the phone.
Somebody from an insurance company rang asking to speak to a person I didn’t know, but when I replied that I wasn’t him, without pausing for breath, he launched into his spiel.
“And how are you today?”
I could feel the hard-sell coming on.
“Who’s this?” I inquired.
“Well, Terence, I’m here to ask you to think about Life Insurance, because we can never foresee the future, and who wants to leave their loved ones having to pay all the bills?”
I told him I didn’t have any loved ones, and that everyone hated me.
“Have you considered Funeral Insurance Terence? The costs of burial can be a real burden on your family”
“I won’t care, I’ll be dead!”
“Well, what about Income Protection Insurance? Who knows when you might fall ill and need time off work?”
“Car Insurance, Terence, surely you think that’s a good idea?”
“Covered thanks; and by the way, I hate my car. I wish someone would steal it”
“Well let’s not forget your lovely house Terence, you need to cover your Home Contents and Building don’t you? We have just the package for that”
“My house burnt down last week. I live in a shed”
“Pet insurance, Terence, don’t forget your furry friends – they need protection too. What would you do if your pet was crippled or maimed in some horrible accident? How would you pay the vet bills?”
“I’m philosophically opposed to the domestication and containment by humans of any form of living thing as I feel to do so is an indefensible abuse of our position in the global web of animal life”
“Huh?” he replied
“Sorry, wrong number” I said, and put down the phone.
I’ve decided it’s time to add my number to ACMA’s “Do Not Call” registry. Hopefully this will put an end to the cold calls I’ve been receiving.
There’s only one problem – scammers are now using it to try to gain money by deception.
I wonder if I can get insurance for that.